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 A funny little story i wrote.

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PostSubject: A funny little story i wrote.   Sat Nov 06, 2010 9:32 pm

I had an assignment for english class to write a short story. Well, my class and pretty much everybody loved it, so i thought i'd let you guys see it. Just a funny little bit of creative writing.

NOTE: I'm actually still working on this story, what you see is just the first few chapters of my continuing adventures.

Mr. Jangles And The War Of The Waffles
By Matt
Chapter 1: The Beginning

In the village of Sheepsfoot, Mr. Jangles lived. He was but a simple peasant, farming walrus teeth for a living. He was content with his lifestyle, but he was always longing for more. Mr. Jangles dreamed of adventuring across the great continent of Potatosauce, exploring new and amazing places, and possibly fighting the evil pancakes of Syrupland. He just wanted excitement in his otherwise dull life.

One day, while harvesting a good crop of walrus teeth, a crazed leprechaun ran into the village screaming, “The pancakes are coming! The pancakes are coming!” Immediately, the guards formed up with their forks to fight for the great nation of Waffletania. This was the only village for miles, so the soldiers were on their own. Immediately, Mr. Jangles picked up his butter knife and headed to fight with the militia for the village. Many other villagers seemed to be doing the same, by the sheer numbers reporting to help fight. Amidst the commotion, a man walked up to Mr. Jangles.
“What are you doing here, Jingle?” said the man.
Mr. Jangles immediately recognized him as his longtime friend, Thorgenrargenfrargen.
“Im going to fight for the village, Thorg. Will you fight with me? This is our home, after all.” Replied Mr. Jangles.
“I will fight. But you have to leave.” Said Thorg.
“But Why, Thorg? I want to fight for our land. What reason can you give for me to back down?” Argued Mr. Jangles.
The scowl on his face grew.
“Lord Broccolimane selected you to travel to Waffle City and alert the High Council of this invasion. It is the only way to save us, Jingle. You have to.” Calmly said Thorg.

Mr. Jangles paused for a moment. This is what he always wanted. An epic journey spanning across lands far and wide, all in a greater quest to fight the evil pancakes. Mr. Jangles heartily agreed. He was given a spork, and his crop of walrus teeth. Thorg yelled out to him as he left,
“Search for Stornven! You can get help there!”
As the battle raged, with the defenders being jellified all around, Mr. Jangles slid off into the forest. And thus begins the adventures of Mr. Jangles.

Chapter 2: The Woodlands of Porkia
As Mr. Jangles walked through the forest, light turned to dark. The sun had fallen, after its lengthy battle with the moon. The woods were completely silent. Only a few beams of light from the moon hit the ground in between the thick groups of trees. Even then, there was a darkness all around these beams- as if the blackness of the forest and the light of the moon were battling for control of these spaces.
After trudging through miles of forest, Mr. Jangles heard a slight rustling in the underbrush around him. He turned around and clutched his spork tightly, calling out into the wilderness.
“Whos there? Show yourself!”
While he was distracted, a turtle came and attacked him. Only Mr. Jangles masterful reflexes saved him from certain death. He sporked the turtle, causing it to start jellifying. This caused the other turtles to charge at Mr. Jangles. He slowly backed away from them, and then he began running. This warfare attracted the other bands of turtles to attack him. After running a few hundred yards, he was ambushed by a giant turtle.
As all the turtles surrounded him, he decided to go down fighting. As he charged at the turtles, an unexpected event happened. Half of the turtles were struck with spoons, and instantly jellified. As the other turtles were struck with confusion, the giant turtle was felled by a fork blow to the back. The other turtles began fleeing as Mr. Jangles questioned what the heck just happened. While he was debating whether this was all a dream, some leprechauns stepped into the light. They talked amongst themselves for a few moments, before finally speaking out to Mr. Jangles.
“Welcome, traveller, to the woods. You were in quite a predicament there. You’re lucky we stumbled upon you in time, or you would have been turtle food.”
“Who are you people?” Inquired Mr. Jangles. One of them laughed to himself, and responded,
“We are the Porkian Rangers. I am the leader, Beefgor. Come with us to our camp. We can continue speaking there.”
Mr. Jangles, dumbfounded, followed them for what seemed like an eternity, until, at last, they came upon the camp. Mr. Jangles yawned heavily.
“Why don’t you take a rest in that tent over there? You can stay until morning if you like.” Said Beefgor. Mr. Jangles, too tired to talk, simply nodded and walked into the tent. He laid down and quickly fell asleep.

He awoke at dawn, when the sun had once again emerged victorious in the battle. A slight, misty haze covered the ground of the camp. Mr. Jangles had a good view from his tent of a truly magnificent sunrise, and watched the colors change from red, to orange, to a bright yellow. When he walked to the campfire, he was greeted by Beefgor and given some food.
“Why are you out so far into the woods?” Asked Beefgor.
Mr. Jangles told him of his quest, and his village of Sheepsfoot. Beefgor simply nodded until the end, then began to talk.
“Your quest is very dire. If one of the townsfolk were forced to tell of your quest, the pancakes will no doubt come looking for you.”
As if by cue, a force of dolphins burst in, bearing the trademark waffle seal on their flippers. The rangers sprung into action, grabbing their bows and firing puppies as fast as they could.
“Mr. Jangles, we can’t hold them off for long. You have to leave, quickly! Take one of the penguins and ride!” Shouted Beefgor, as he rushed into action. Mr. Jangles quickly grabbed his belongings and headed to the stables. It seemed they were all taken for the rangers to battle with. As he began walking away, he noticed one rogue penguin in the corner. He quickly saddled it and rode off, sounds of jellifying behind him.
As he rode, the sounds slowly became much more quiet until there was complete silence throughout the forest. Everything was still and calm, as though the battle had no effect on the lives of creatures in the forest. After a long ride, he reached the river Dornfang, and sat, watching and listening to the river flow. He let out a heavy sigh.

Chapter 3: Stornven
He had reached Stornven, a small hamlet built next to a shining lake. Staring at the town for a few moments, he saw the wooden huts and the stone buildings had signs of being built quickly, as though many people migrated here at one time, far in the past. When he entered the town, the Viking sealfolk looked upon him quizzically. It seemed they had never seen an easterner before.
He rode to the stables, and paid a few walrus teeth to stable his penguin. He then walked to the chief’s house, and knocked on the door. A bulky pancake answered the door. Mr. Jangles, shocked, immediately grasped his spork when a man walked out to meet him.
“Do not be intimidated of Vernus, he is just my bodyguard.” Said the seal.
“But…but pancakes are the enemy!” stammered Mr. Jangles.
“That’s bigotry! Besides, Vernus is my personal friend. I have known him for years. He will not hurt you.” Reassured the seal.
“Now, tell me, what business do you have with me?” Asked the seal.
Mr. Jangles once again explained his quest. The man then introduced himself as Durenor The Drunkard.
“I understand. However, the highlands are too dangerous for you to go through. You will have to navigate the turkey swamp instead. The only way you could find your way through them though, is with a map. Our resident innkeeper has one. Go talk to him, he may give it to you.” Said Durenor.
Mr. Jangles nodded and thanked Durenor for the help. He then headed for the inn, exchanging glances with a suspicious, robed figure. Under the darkness of his hood, the figure’s face was almost nonexistent. Mr. Jangles shaked himself of paranoid theories and entered the inn.
Inside the inn, he noticed seals chugging mugs of corn, and a few gambling in a corner. After ordering a mug of corn, he inquired to the innkeeper about the map.
“You can have the map, sure. However, I require that first you do a favor for me. The rocks I harvest my corn from have been constantly stolen from by a giant frog for the past few weeks, and it is hurting my business. I would like you to jellify him for me.” Said the innkeeper.
Mr. Jangles agreed to do the favor for him, and walked out of the inn. He headed into the hills, towards the field, when he spotted the robed figure again. It almost seemed like the figure was following him, spying on his every move. Nonetheless, he continued walking.
As he reached the field, he spotted the frog stealing some more corn. He charged at it with his spork, and stabbed it. It just bounced off the frog’s thick skin. The frog, unfazed, knocked Mr. Jangles back with his tongue, smashing him against a hillside. Mr. Jangles got up and charged at the frog again, yet his spork once again bounced off it and failed to hurt it. After being smashed into the hillside again, he realized he had to change his tactics. Thinking about it for a moment, he decided not to charge at the frog and instead lure the frog to a hillside. Mr. Jangles scampered up the hill, and as the frog hopped to the hillside, he pushed with all his might on a piece of bacon. When it fell on the frog, it was instantly jellified.
Mr. Jangles walked back to the inn, and in celebration, the innkeeper gave a free round of corn mugs to the bar denizens. After a few hearty cheers and many sips, the Innkeeper kept his word and gave Mr. Jangles the map he required. Mr. Jangles then left the inn and began a leisurely walk to the stables, so he could retrieve his penguin. He started nearing the edge of town where the stable was, only to spot the robed figure again.

This time, Mr. Jangles could not contain his curiosity and walked towards the robed figure. As he neared the figure, it pulled a fork and stabbed Mr. Jangles in the stomach. He fell over, writhing in pain, and was bashed on the head with the flat edge of the fork. When he stopped struggling, the robed figure began dragging him somewhere. Mr. Jangles started to wonder if this was a pancake spy until he fell unconscious.

Chapter 4: Abducted

Mr. Jangles had many problems now: He was in a dark tent, he was heavily wounded, and to top it all off, a case of amnesia.

When he woke up, his amnesia kicked in. Who was he? WHERE was he? As he stood up, he groaned in pain and looked at his stomach, staring at the 3 huge gashes in his stomach. Then it all came back to him- He was Cornlord, the lord of corn.
“No, that’s not right!” he thought to himself.
This man was ACTUALLY Mr. Jangles, the (hopeful) savior of Waffletania, from the incursion of the Pancakes into his village of Sheepsfoot. His thoughts rushed with memories of his home, his friend Thorg, the turtles of the forest, Beefgor, his new penguin..

His thinking was interrupted when a burly llama kicked his side.
“Get up,” it commanded.
Mr. Jangles reached for his spork, only to realize that the llama had already taken all his things. He stood up, and stared at his captor for a few moments: a big burly llama heavily armored from head to toe, holding his long fork loosely with his right hoof.
“Stop staring and get outside, you imbecile!” the llama yelled at him.
Mr. Jangles walked outside into the bright sunshine. He noticed many tents like the one he just exited all around an extinguished campfire. The camp stood next to a large, snowcapped mountain. He saw people in tattered clothes digging into the mountainside with spoons. Llamas like the one he met were treating the people like slaves. This, of course, made Mr. Jangles realize he was now a slave to the Highland Llamas.
“Keep moving!” Mr. Jangles felt a sharp pain in his back.
The llama poked and prodded him into another tent. This one was much brighter, with candles all around. In the center of the tent, sitting in a chair, was the cloaked person who had brought him to this place.
“Sit down.” The llama pointed to a nearby chair.
Mr. Jangles sat down, and the cloaked person stood up. It reached to pull its hood back, revealing a tall, blonde, young woman.
“How are you feeling, peasant?” She inquired.
“Like I just pranced around in a field of daisies. How do you THINK I feel after you stabbed me in the stomach, you wretched woman?” Mr. Jangles angrily replied.
“Now, now, no need to get angr-“
“There is EVERY reason to get angry! DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT YOU DID TO ME?!?!” Yelled Mr. Jangles.
“I will NOT get into a shouting match with you, peasant! I know full well what I did: I brought another slave to the llamas in exchange for a HEFTY sum of walrus teeth.” She responded.
So this isn’t an agent of the pancakes, Mr. Jangles thought to himself.
“I have nothing more to say to this worthless peasant. Remove him from my sight,” She commanded.
The llama prodded him outside. He talked with another guard for a few moments, and pushed Mr. Jangles over to him. This llama then brought him to the other slaves. The llama handed him a spoon and pointed at the mountain.
“Don’t stop digging until we tell you to. If we catch you resting for even a moment, we will whack you upside the head.” Said the llama.
Mr. Jangles thrust his spoon into the mountainside and began digging.
“Hey boys, looks like the llamas got another slave,” said a short waffle, pointing at Mr. Jangles.
The rest of the slaves walked up to him and began digging near him. They began conversing with Mr. Jangles while digging into the mountainside. They seemed rather cheery, considering they were slaves.
“Haven’t you guys ever tried to escape?” blurted out Mr. Jangles.
“Oh yeah. Multiple times. It’s never worked for us, though. The llamas are always one step ahead,” said one of the slaves, quietly.
There was silence for what seemed like forever, until a guard shouted, “Today’s shift is over. Get to your tent, slaves!” Mr. Jangles followed the rest to a small tent on the edge of the camp. They all laid down on the beans set out for them as beds. Mr. Jangles spent a few moments in silence, before coming up with a fantastic escape plan. He motioned for the other slaves to come over and they spent most of the night plotting.

At daybreak, when the sun had just begun to rise into the sky, Mr. Jangles woke up. It was time to enact his escape plan. He and the other slaves left the tent and began to run out of the camp. (Mr. Jangles was not the best escape planner.) As the guards ran after him, Mr. Jangles selflessly sacrificed the small waffle he met by tripping him. The waffle fell over and tripped two of the guards chasing after them. Mr. Jangles and the other slaves had, by then, reached a rocky hillside. It was just a short distance to the river, and they were free.
Mr. Jangles picked up a small piece of bacon and threw it at one of the guards. This, of course, had no effect, as small pieces of bacon are known to not hurt angry hordes of armored llamas running at top speed. Before he knew it, the llamas had reached him and the other slaves. Mr. Jangles was once again forked in the stomach, and fell unconscious.

He awoke a few hours later, his arms and legs bound by a rope, stuck in the back of a moving penguin-drawn cart. After struggling in vain with the ropes, Mr. Jangles looked at his now even BIGGER wounds. Though in much pain, his thoughts started to drift elsewhere, and before he knew it, Mr. Jangles fell into unconsciousness once again.

To be continued...
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A funny little story i wrote.
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